«FRIENDSHIP»

THE PLAN

1. Loneliness is a great problem for humanity.

2. Be confident!

3. The inner distances.

4. Why is it so important to have friends?

5. The friendship code.

6. I advise to my friends.

Loneliness is necessary for people.

A person secludes himself if he wants to think over something, for studies of art, science, to have a rest from the people. But personal contact is more important for people. We suffer from enduring loneliness, but we cannot get rid of it. There are different reasons of such painful loneliness. A person can be lonely because of his low self-confidence. He or she is not satisfied with his appearance and mind. So he is sure that nobody is interested in him because of these demerits. Very often a person does not know how to get along with people: he cannot make an acquaintance with somebody or simply talk with people. Sometimes distrust and bitterness make people lonely. A person can always choose «unsuitable» friends. If a shy, modest person fails in personal contact he starts to afraid to be outcast again: he prefers to be lonely. There are people who are afraid of deep feelings. They are afraid to open their inner world for somebody else and to see one's inner world.

A lot of people can't develop and support good terms with others. Eventually there are people who want «everything or nothing», they can't be tolerant or patient so they quickly break all connections with others.

And all these lonely people think they'll never find a person, closed to them. So, they consider, there is no need to try it.

But actually it isn't so. Everybody can get over his loneliness if he really wants it.

First of all he must develop such important feeling as confidence.

A confident man expresses his own opinion honestly and frankly. He never hides behind the words «everybody thinks so», but uses the words «I consider», «to my mind». He speaks only about feelings he has, he never disguises them.

Next you should know there are «inside» distances.

The longest is contact with unknown people: in transport or at school.

The distance becomes smaller in personal contact with familiar person. Such person is our possible friend or enemy. To change such terms «somebody should make a first step, and somebody should receive it» (Eric Bern).

The distance between the business partners is just the same. But if they begin to talk about something that is not touched by their occupation their conversation turns into the personal talk.

The smallest distance is between friends.

«One soul in two bodies», - said Aristotel. But why is friendship so necessary in the modern world?

A lot of people search someone who will listen to all their lamentations. But they must know that real friendship can't be one-sided. They should be ready to listen to complaints from their friend.

Sometimes people search a friend to «look» at him like at the mirror. They believe it'll help to understand themselves better.

Very often friendship appears when two people have common interests. This kind of friendship is usually strong and long-lasting.

In the 20-th century psychologists determined the existence of the unwritten friendship code.

Real friends must:

1.   Exchange news.

2.   Give emotional support.

3.   Be always helpful.

4.   Trust one another.

5.   Not be persistent.

6.   Not criticize one another.

7.   Keep all confidential secrets.

8.   Not be jealous.

9.   Respect the inner world and friend's freedom.

10. Never tell lie.

11. Be tolerant.

I advise to my friends:

1. Treat with your friend like you want him to treat with you.

2. Try to find good traits of character in each man.

3. Never intervene in one's affairs.

4. If you've been disappointed in friendship, don't consider that it is the end of your life. I'm sure, new friendship will come to you very soon.

5. Be happy.

 

by Kopyatina Olga,

9th form, school #63,

Novosibirsk 2003